or "Last Tango at Bradbury's" or "Max goes on Shore Leave" whatever you prefer.
This entire episode is full of hormones, and the sarcastic one is just as full of testerone as the rest of the males on Crusade. We first meet up with our intrepid archeologist when that mandated stud puppy pilot Trace Miller is in the process of running people from the Excalibur to Mars for shore leave.
Trace and Max are bantering, especially over Trace's comment that he's beginning to feel like a yo-yo.
Trace: "I'm starting to feel like some kind of yo-yo."
Dureena: "Some kind of what?"
Eilerson: "Yo-yo. slang for fool or idiot."
Trace: "I meant the toy."
Eilerson: "Oh and there is that too."
Also there is a feel of competiveness between the two over who'll be the alpha male and escort Dureena around Mars. Dureena, simply is not impressed, even with Max being a native Martian. The bantering escalates between the two men, but as always, Eilerson has the keen eye for the obvious with "I try never to upset anyone who is at the helm of a rapidly descending object that I'm inside."
Finallu Dureena, annoyed, graps both bad boys by their ears and says "ESCORT! NOT NEEDED!" (You go Dureena! You go girl!)
Max, and his leather jacket, meets up with Dureena planetside, and offers to show her the "streets of his rebellious youth." Apparently, Max was constantly being protected by his parents and his tutors and sometimes he would escape to the streets of Mars. It made him appreciate dead civilizations, as for one thing, they're quieter. But the very first time he was on the streets, some thief stole his credits.. and his I.D. ... Just like that guy just did ...
Max, being full of testerone, proceeds to run after the thief, and finds himself in a big pickle, when Larry, his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl show up and are going to wipe the ground with him. Dureena, taking lessons from Xena proceeds to do a flying karate jump complete with jump and gets Max's stuff back to him.
Eilerson is now, once again mouthing off. "You mess with me, you mess with my whole family" ... He looks cocky, until he realizes Dureena left him, and he runs after her. (Interesting, does this mean the Crusade group is becoming his family?!?)
Trying to save his male pride, he tells her that while he appreciated her help, but for the record, he could have handled it. (Yeah, right Maxie)
Dureena, singlehandly deflating Max's ego, informs him that there is no record to be kept. That she doesn't care at all about him, but only did it because the thief was sloppy, and its make the rest of the thieves guild look bad.
Male pride damaged, almost beyond repair, Max insists "Next time I have a difficulty, let me handle it." He then enters the bar, almost starts a fight with Mutt n' Jeff and asks "Do you want me to wear sack clothes and ashes?"
Dureena, smiling "You got it Maximilan" and leaves him to his own defense.
Later, a obviously drunken Max is telling a long joke about something with the punchline being about "an airhose..." which causes his new found friends to laugh.
Trace has shown up, and he's depressed. (mainly cuz he's not as cool as Max, but what can you do? Genetics goes so far...) Max, with messy hair says "Cheer up Trace, It's a party!" and offers him a drink...but "I don't think you can handle what I've got ..." which causes Trace to start mouthing back.
Dureena, sighs "Oh gods, I'm drowning in testerone."
Then proving what a classy gent he really is ... Max informs her that she's equipted with floation devices. The whiney Trace start to babble about something. Religion I think, I sort of ignored him. (grin) Trace gets quite drunk and then insists on teaching Dureena how to dance.
Needless to say, he's staggering drunk so he nearly falls on Mutt N' Jeff. Max, seeing his opportunity, whips off his jacket and says "I will teach her how to dance!" Cue music, Dureena attempts to storm off, Max grabs her hand and the two begin to Tango. Come on, if Dureena really wanted to escape from the Tango, she could have ... Aren't I right? Let's say a few things, they look good together, and let's not forget all those gratitious butt shuts of DAB there. (If you're out there DAB, that's said with lots of respect, you got a cute bum okay?) You've got to love the looks on their faces, Max drunk grinning like a fool at times, while Dureena is apparently enjoying the dance quite well.
What ruins the dance is that darn Trace. While I enjoy Trace getting the snot beaten out of him, it's too bad it was during the dance scene. (It wasn't quite as a good as "The Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place" which is one of my all time favorite B5 scenes ever). Max is upset when Dureena stops the tango, and even more so annoyed when he finds out the tango stopped due to TRACE!
Meanwhile, some TNT type thugs are beating trace up (yay!) and Dureena
has to stop them (booo..) Then Max, once again, king of the obvious
says some very nice things about Dureena ... "I swear to god [that she'll
kill you if you kill trace], look at her eyes ..." and "God won't help
you if Dureena gets her hands on you!"
(Ain't Max so sweet? Makes you wonder why Cynthia left... besides the fact that little miss orphan annie had no taste.. :D)
Unfortunately they save Trace, and Max Eilerson forces him to drink Max Eilerson's special brew ... which looks like a chocolate shake. Apparently it's a strong concotion of which two of them will make you forget you had a head. Apparently recovered, Max makes the connection between Trace and the dude that was killed. Trace manages to save the day. So what does everyone do after saving the day? They go back to the bar, where Max is waxing philosophical ... Including how Joan of Arc was cannonized, while Trace's friend was cannon fodder. "Funny old world." he says.
Other Max quotes...
"History is rarely cut and dry when it comes to religion. One mans'
lunatic is another's saint or holy martyr. In the words of TS Elliot, saint
and martyr rule from the tomb."
We end up with a cozy little scene...
Dureena: "You know on my world, it was considered a great evil to even
presume to speak on behalf of the Universe. "
Eilerson: "Well, they're a lot smarter than we are. What's that old saying? Anyway, Christ came to tell us to love one another and the last twenty-two hundred years, we've spent killing each other on how he said it. When you become obsessed with the enemy, you become the enemy."
Dureena: "I'm starting to agree with him and that's more than I can bear. Would you care to dance?"
Trace: "Love to."
Max laughs ... Cut to black.
Okay - This was fluff, but pure delightful fluff. I'm giving it a big
7 on the Max Factor Scales.
+5 because I loved Max. Max was everywhere in this episode except for in the shower. (heh heh) and that's Lochley's loss.
+1 because of DAB's willingness to tango :D
+1 because Trace got beaten up.
DAB's comments on the Tango scene. Starburst August 99
"It was really intimidating. I hated going to dance class. I got a phone call beforehand, and when I got it, I went and found someone to give me lessons, because I knew that Carrie was a good dancer, and could save the day, but I had to be able to handle it, so it was kind of an interesting shot. I havne't seen too much of it yet, but it's now in the title sequence, so I guess it was good enough to show off. I think John had it in mind from the beginning because he made this special shot with the tango, and it looked good. John is a very smart, very eclectic very intelligent guy."
Sci-Fi Tv October 1999
Although the number turned out well, Brooks credits most of its success
to his skilled dancing partner. "We shot it in one day, and they were pretty
patient with my blocking, but by the time you get to the floor, you better
have your guns ready, because there's no time to learn it there.
We rehearsed it a few times. Carrie came out to the dance class, all the
way up to Santa Monica to meet me, and went through the paces. She
was very patient, It didn't look bad. I know I could have done better,
but she was great."
CD's comment on the Tango scene & Dureena's relationship with Max
Sci-fi tv August 1999
This episode of Crusade, shows a very different side of Dureena, as she finds herself caught up in a series of misadventures with Max Eilerson. "It's a big deal for her, because you see her lightening up a little bit, you've never seen her light before. She always been intense."
"I think she likes everyone, even Eilerson and what she sees as his cowardice, so they quibbble a lot, but deep down, she does care about him."
Comments on ME and the drunken dudes.
October Sci Fi Tv October 1999
"That was one of shows that very specifically went in a differnt direction. It showed Max getting drunk and hanging out with his friends and then dealing with those big guys- obviously he wasn't going to get anywhere physically even with what he knew about martial arts. This was defintely a time to use his social skills, which are minimal but he made these guys content enough to start dealing with him. He got to be friends with them, so that was an interesting turnaround."
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